


Printer Error

by flawedamythyst



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-28
Updated: 2009-12-28
Packaged: 2018-10-16 10:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10569342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawedamythyst/pseuds/flawedamythyst
Summary: Being the office dogsbody mostly meant trying to get the printer to work properly. Luckily for Jared, the new printer, a JEN S3(n), always seemed to work perfectly for him.Office AU.





	

“Hey, Jimmy, the printer’s jammed again.”

Jared sighed and nodded at Tom Welling. “I’ll be right there,” he said.

“Be quick,” said Tom. “This report is due to Kripke in ten minutes.”

Jared bit back the response of ‘why the hell are you only printing it now then?’, left the cups he was washing in the sink, and went over to the corner of the office where the massive, Neolithic-looking printer was. It was always going wrong – jamming up, and generating random errors, and occasionally printing things out in completely the wrong format for no reason - and Jared was always the one who had to fix it, in between making coffee and photocopying things, of course.

He’d naively thought when he came to work for the PR department of Kripke, Singer & Manners that he’d get a chance to take a real role in the business and show what he could do if he was given a chance. Nearly a year later, the only time he got to do anything other than meaningless dogsbody work was when Misha Collins came in too hungover to finish a press release and made Jared do it, and even then, Jared didn’t get any credit for it. Most of the staff, including Tom, didn’t even know his name, and Jared had long ago stopped correcting them.

The printer was firmly flashing all three red lights and making a frantic-sounding ‘Beep! Beep!’ noise. That was not a good sign. Jared had spent a year getting used to this printer’s idiosyncrasies, but after ten minutes of trying the things that usually worked, he had to admit defeat.

“You’ll have to use HR’s printer,” he told Tom, who scowled at him and stomped away. Using HR’s printer involved running the gauntlet of the HR girls, which was a terrifying prospect for any single, relatively attractive man.

Jared spent most of the rest of the day fiddling with the printer but eventually had to admit defeat when all he managed to achieve was to stop the beeping noise. He knocked tentatively on Jim Beaver’s office door just before the end of the day.

Jim looked up from his laptop screen and smiled widely. “Jason!” he exclaimed happily. “Come in, come in. What can I do for you today?”

Jim was always a little disturbingly enthusiastic. Jared privately thought that it was because most of the time he had no idea what was going on.

“There’s a problem with the printer,” he said, slipping inside the room.

Jim frowned hard. “Have you tried turning it off, then turning it on again?” he asked after a moment’s thought.

“Yes,” said Jared. “I’ve tried everything I can – I think we’re going to have to get a new one.”

Jim waved that away. “Oh, nonsense, I’m sure it’ll keep going a while longer. I’ll ask one of the boys in IT to come and take a look.”

“Okay,” said Jared, and turned to leave, but he didn't quite get away in time.

“How are things going?”asked Jim. “You enjoying working here?”

Jared reluctantly turned back. “Yeah,” he lied. “It’s great.” Jim nodded encouragingly, and Jared cast about for something else to say. “It’s, um...good to be part of the team.”

“Excellent!” said Jim. “Good, good...well, let me know if you have any problems, Jesse.”

Jared slapped on a fake smile. “It’s just the printer,” he said.

“Ah, yes, the printer,” said Jim, as if he’d managed to forget about it. He looked down at his laptop. “I’ll email IT.”

“Thanks,” said Jared, and took the opportunity to slip out.

 

****

 

The guy that IT sent, some mullet-haired geek called Chad, declared the printer officially dead the next day. “We’ll get you a new one sent over,” he said, unplugging it. “Might take a few days, but you can use HR’s one until then, right?”

There was some pained looks from the men in the room.

“Sure,” said Mike after a moment. “After all, Jamie can always run over and pick it up if we don’t have time.”

There was a collective sigh of relief as Jared groaned to himself. Fantastic.

He spent the next week and a half running backwards and forwards between the PR office and HR, trying to avoid the HR girls and failing miserably. After two days of being cornered by Alona by their printer over, or having to get something down from a top shelf for Adrianne every time he passed her desk, he managed to casually drop into conversation that he was gay. After that, they just wanted to know every detail of the lives of every other man in his office.

“Is Misha seeing anyone?” asked Genevieve. “He’s cute, right?”

“Uh, I guess,” said Jared. He thought for a moment. “I think the only person he’s seeing is his dealer.”

Genevieve smiled like a shark. “Awesome. Do you know where he goes on his lunch?”

Jared shrugged helplessly. “Some hippy place, probably,” he said. “Wholewheat smoothies and granola sandwiches.” He thought about how Misha never gave Jared any credit for helping him, and added, “You know, he loves talking about yoga.”

“Right,” she said in a determined voice, and the next day, Misha came back from lunch complaining about being cornered on his lunchbreak and quizzed about yoga techniques.

“Being asked about how bendy I am whilst I’m trying to eat a bagel is not my idea of a relaxing lunch.”

Jared smirked to himself, but it was still a great relief when their new printer finally showed up, all shiny and black and new, with even more flashing lights than the last one had had. He plugged it in himself, not wanting to wait for IT to get around to sending someone, and couldn’t resist stroking his hand over the curve of its lid and muttering, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

The printer’s lights lit up, one by one, and it printed a test sheet of question marks.

“Is it all ready to go?” asked Mike. “I’ve got a memo I need to print.”

Jared nodded. “Go for it,” he said.

Mike squinted at the printer for a moment. “That’s a weird-looking printer,” he said. He tipped his head to read the make on the side. “JEN S3(n). Huh, never heard of it.”

Jared shrugged. “So long as it works,” he said. “I don’t care what the hell it’s called.”

 

***

 

JEN S3(n) jammed on its second day, the paper of Tom's report caught so tightly in the mechanism that it just tore when Jared tried to prise it out.

“Fix the damn thing, or I'll throw it down the stairs,” Tom told him angrily, hands running through his hair.

“I'm trying,” said Jared through gritted teeth.

“If Kripke doesn't get this today,” added Tom, “he'll be really mad, and I'll make sure he knows it's your fault, Jack.” He stormed off without waiting for a response, presumably to try and pull his head out of his ass.

“It's Jared,” hissed Jared quietly into the printer. “And I'm going to spit in your damn coffee.” He stopped for a second and took a deep breath – there was no point in getting all worked up over these people. “Come on,” he said to the printer. “Give me a break here.” It had been a long day, and he was at the end of his patience – talking to inanimate objects seemed about par for the course.

He gave the paper another gentle tug and there was a series of beeps, then the whole sheet came free in one go. “Oh, thank you,” said Jared with relief. He shut up the panel, and the printer gave a little vibrating buzzy sound, then printed out the rest of Tom's document without any hitches. Jared couldn't resist giving the shiny black surface a quick pat as he gather up the pages to take back to Tom's desk.

After that, JEN S3(n) worked perfectly. It didn't jam again, or have any unexpected and unresolvable errors, or pull too many sheets in at the same time so that the page printed half on one sheet and half on another – it was pretty much the best behaved printer Jared had ever known. Even when it ran out of paper or ink, it did so in a faintly apologetic way, with a tiny flashing orange light and a faint double-beep.

Jared took to rubbing his hand across the top of it whenever he had to pick up someone's printing. Well, it was smooth and shiny, and possibly his favourite colleague.

 

****

 

In July, he took two weeks off over his birthday. He couldn't afford to do anything exciting with it, so instead he flew home and stayed with his parents, hanging out with his old High School friends and trying to remember why he thought moving to the big city was a good idea in the first place.

On the first morning he got back, Mike met him at the door. “Thank god you're back, Joe,” he said. “You have to get that printer working – if I have to go to HR for another print-out, I think Kristen is going to lock me in her office and do horrible, unnatural things to me. And not the good kind.”

“The printer?” asked Jared with a frown, still trying to take his coat off. “What did you do to it? It was working fine before I left.”

“The day you left it just died,” said Mike. “IT have no ideas, other than that there's apparently nothing wrong with it. It just won't print.”

Jared sighed. “I'll take a look at it,” he said. “Not sure what I can do that IT can't, though.”

He put his coat down and headed over to the printer, which was flashing only one light – the power one – in a way that almost looked sullen. “What's wrong with you?” asked Jared in an undertone, and at that very moment, every light lit up bright white, and there was a cheerful, slightly-excited sounding beeping noise. A second later, it started printing – pages flying out so fast that Jared was a little worried it was going to shoot them across the room.

“What the hell?” he asked.

“That's weird,” said Mike, giving Jared a funny look. “Been dead for two weeks, and the moment you're back...” he trailed off, then turned to look at Jared very seriously. “Jake, did you hex the printer?”

Jared rolled his eyes. “How the hell would I do that? And why?”

Mike shrugged, but he spent the rest of the day giving Jared squinting frowns. JEN S3(n) printed out every page from the last two weeks in one go, then a strange test-page covered in Js, then came to a whirring stop, four lights still happily flashing.

Jared gave it a gentle pat. “I hope you realise this isn't normal behaviour for a printer,” he said.

“Jed,” called out Misha, slumping down in his chair and resting his head on his desk. “I spent all night in a padded room with three very accommodating girls, a monk called Gavin, and a whole shitload of weed. You're going to have to finish this release for me.”

Jared sighed to himself.

“Oh,” added Misha. “And make some coffee first. I think my brain's trying to escape.”

Jared clenched his hand into a fist on the shiny surface of JEN S3(n), then headed off to the tiny kitchenette. Oh, it felt so good to be back.

 

****

 

The next morning, Jared – or rather ‘Johnny’ - got summoned to Jim’s office. It was only the second time that he’d been called in, so he felt a sense of trepidation as he knocked on the door. The first time had been because he’d forgotten to give Jim de-caff on the afternoon coffee break, and Jim had given him a very long speech about the importance of remembering details, and how he wasn’t going to be able to sleep that night, and how that was going to end up affecting company profits.

Misha was already inside when Jared went in, and he gave Jared a cheery wave, which did nothing to allay Jared’s fears. “Hey there, Jethro,” he said. “Come in and sit down.”

Jared did so, and Jim gave him a slightly blank look. “Uh,” he said, then glanced at Misha. “Maybe you should explain.”

Misha nodded gravely, then rolled his eyes at Jared when Jim looked away. “You wrote that release for me yesterday,” he said.

Jared glanced at Jim with a faint frown, but Jim didn’t seem to care that Misha hadn’t done it himself. “Yes,” he admitted. “Was there something wrong with it?”

“On the contrary,” said Misha. “It was pretty good. The others you helped me with were too.”

“This company,” said Jim suddenly, as if he’d remembered what was going on and was eager to add something, “was built on giving people the chance to shine, to realise their potential. Like me – I started out at the bottom, you know, but through hard work and attention to detail, I’ve climbed up the company. Johnny, you’re a good kid. I know you’re happy where you are now – and who wouldn’t be? Yours is an important job. But we want to offer you the chance to become more.”

“More?” asked Jared slowly, not sure that this wasn't going to turn out to be some kind of prank. “Like, a promotion?”

“Well, perhaps. In time,” said Jim. “It's more like a chance at a promotion.” He picked up a folder off his desk, and held it out to Jared. “I need this report by Thursday morning. Do the best you can, and we’ll see if you’re promotion material.”

Jared took the folder. “Thank you,” he said, flipping it open.

“Not here, boy,” said Jim. “Go do it elsewhere. I’ve things to do.”

Jared doubted that – it was getting to the time when Jim usually had a nap – but he stood up anyway.

“Remember,” added Jim. “First thing Thursday morning. I expect punctuality.”

“Good luck, Jebediah,” said Misha with a grin, and Jared nodded his thanks, then left the office almost in a daze.

Behind him, he heard Jim ask Misha, “Are you sure that’s his name?”

“Oh yes,” replied Misha confidently. “His mother named him after her childhood pet cat.”

“How odd,” said Jim.

 

****

 

Jared put everything he could into the report, around making coffee and photocopying hand-outs for Mike's presentation. Wednesday night found him still in the office, printing it out so that he could put it on Jim's desk where he'd find it when he came in in the morning. The rest of the office was deserted – everyone else had gone home hours ago - so it was just him and the printer, which had taken to making quiet little chiming beeps every time it printed out a page.

Jared gathered up the sheets once they were all done, and glanced through it one final time. “Man, I hope this is good enough,” he muttered.

A green light lit up on the printer, and another sheet of paper slid out. Jared frowned – there shouldn't have been any more, not unless he'd hit print multiple copies by accident. He picked up the sheet and glanced at it.

_Don't worry. It's really good. Much better than most of what Tom prints out._

Jared felt his eyes widen in shock, and glanced around at the office. It was still empty. “The hell?” he asked.

Another page printed out and he picked it up with numb fingers.

_Sorry, I probably shouldn't have said anything, but you seemed nervous. It's going to be fine._

Jared stared at the printer. The green light that had come on seemed dimmer, somehow.

“Printer?” he asked cautiously. “Are you...is this you?”

A page printed out. _Yes. I know it's weird, sorry._

“Weird?” exclaimed Jared, then dropped the paper abruptly and stepped back. “I'm talking to a printer!” This had to be a prank of some kind – someone was hidden in the office, on one of the computers. He checked all around, ignoring the pages that were being printed out. All the computers were off, and the whole place seemed deserted. He went back to the printer and picked up the new pages cautiously.

_If you think talking to a printer is weird, you should try being one._

_There's no one else here – I wouldn't have said anything if there was. Those other guys are all dicks._

“Holy shit,” said Jared, gaping. “How the hell are you doing this? You're a printer! You're not meant to be talking!”

_It's a long story. I'll tell you some other time. Right now, you should go put that report on Jim's desk before you forget, then go home and get some sleep._

Sleep, right. That was it, he was sleep-deprived or something. He dropped all the printer's side of the conversation in the recycling box, grabbed his report and put it on Jim's desk, then got the hell out of there.

 

****

 

The next day Jared came in expecting to find everyone laughing at him for believing something as ridiculous as a sentient printer. Instead, everyone treated him exactly as normal – Tom called him Jeff and demanded coffee, Misha told him all about what he’d got up to the previous night in too much detail, and pretty much everyone else ignored his existence.

At around 11, he took coffee in to Jim.

“Did you get my report okay?” he asked tentatively.

Jim stared at him blankly for a moment. “Oh, yes, Jesse. It’s right here.” He pawed at the papers on his desk for a moment, then beamed at Jared. “Not had time to read it yet – been a very busy day.”

“Of course,” said Jared, and left the office feeling discouraged.

He found himself wandering over to the printer – somewhere he’d been avoiding all morning. He kept a careful look out of the corner of his eye to see if anyone was watching him, then tentatively touched it. A bright green light lit up, followed by a blinking white one.

“Uh...hello?” he said quietly. There was a pause, then a gentle humming noise, and a piece of paper printed out.

_Good morning Jared. Good to see I didn’t freak you out too much._

Jared half-laughed shakily. “I wouldn’t exactly say that,” he said quietly, still conscious of all the other people around.

_I can stop talking to you, if it would make you feel better._

Jared found himself shaking his head, even though he was pretty sure it would make him feel better. “No,” he said, “it’s okay. Besides, you’re pretty much the only one here who knows my real name.”

“Joachim!” yelled Misha. “Quick word, please.”

“See what I mean?” he said quietly to JEN S3(n), before calling back. “One moment!”

_They’re just idiots. You’re worth more than the rest of them put together._

Jared smiled at the paper, feeling slightly like an idiot for caring about having a printer's approval, then folded it up and put it in his pocket, and went over to find out what Misha wanted.

Misha was holding his report. “I told Jim I’d deal with this,” he said. “I thought it would be better."

Jared felt butterflies in his stomach. “Was there something wrong with it?”

Misha shook his head. “On the contrary, Japheth, it was really good.”

“Japheth?!” repeated Jared, then narrowed his eyes. “Wait, are you getting my name wrong on purpose?”

Misha grinned at him. “Babynames.com has some awesome ones,” he said. “I’m saving Jehoshaphat for a special occasion.”

Jared blinked at him. “Wait, then, the others...”

“Oh, they have no idea what you’re called,” said Misha dismissively. “To be honest, I’m sometimes surprised that they know what their own names are.”

“Right,” agreed Jared, glancing over at where Tom was trying to get his telephone to dial out, something that apparently took a great deal of cursing and jabbing at buttons.

“Anyway,” said Misha. “The report’s really great, Julius. Just what I wanted.”

Jared grinned. “Thank you,” he said.

“The thing is,” continued Misha, “I’ve been needing a assistant for a while now, and I’ve finally talked Jim into finding money in the personnel budget for it. What do you say? It’s not much of a wage increase, and you’ll have to put up with me calling you a whole range of stupid names.”

“No girls' names,” said Jared. “Anything else is fine.”

Misha frowned. “Not even Jacinta?” he asked.

“Especially not Jacinta,” said Jared firmly.

Misha looked put out, but he nodded anyway. “Okay, it’s a deal then. I’ll tell Jim he needs to advertise for a new office boy.”

“Great,” said Jared, and grinned. It seemed like things were finally looking up. He glanced over at JEN S3(n), wondering when he’d get the chance to tell him about this.

 

****

 

In the end, he had to stay late to talk to JEN S3(n). Misha kept him busy all day, going over exactly what sort of things he needed help with, and exactly what it was he did. Jared never had been too sure, and that hadn't really changed.

After hours, when the rest of the office was empty, Jared went over to JEN S3(n). “Hey,” he said cautiously.

All of JEN S3(n)’s green lights came on.

_Good day?_

Jared grinned. “Excellent day,” he said happily. “I got promoted – did you hear?”

_I read the memo Misha printed out for HR. Congratulations, Jared. You deserve it._

“Thanks,” said Jared happily. He pulled himself up to sit on the desk next to JEN S3(n), slinging an arm over his casing. “How was your day? Or is that stupid question to ask a printer?”

There was a rumbling hum from JEN S3(n), as if he was thinking.

 _Mike didn’t try and print out any of those ridiculously fiddly and colourful charts,_ he offered. _I hate those._

“Mike’s an idiot,” said Jared. “I think he thinks the more colours he uses, the cleverer he looks.”

 _It’s not working,_ printed JEN S3(n). _Just makes him look really camp. Especially when he uses 8 different shades of pink._

Jared laughed. “Well, he’s that as well,” he acknowledged.

Somehow, time just slipped past while Jared was talking to JEN S3(n). He wouldn’t have ever said that he’d have much in common with a printer, but it seemed like JEN S3(n) shared all his opinions on their co-workers. It felt good to finally have someone to share all his thoughts about them, and not have to bottle it all up any more. It was a surprise when he realised how late it had got.

“Shit, I have to go,” he said, sitting up straight from where he’d slouched over JEN S3(n).

 _I’ll see you tomorrow,_ printed JEN S3(n).

“Right,” said Jared, standing up. He hesitated. “I’ll stay late again tomorrow – we can talk then.”

_I’ll look forward to it._

Jared grinned, smoothed his hand over the sleek surface of the printer one last time, then hurried off home.

 

****

 

Jared's life slotted into a new routine over the next few weeks. Working with Misha was unpredictable and occasionally unnerving, but ultimately so much more rewarding than being the office slave. He stayed after work almost every day to talk to JEN S3(n), often losing track of time and staying until late.

His roommate, Chad, assumed he had boyfriend. “No wonder you're so happy all the time. You're getting more dick than Paris Hilton.”

Jared scowled at him. “I told you, I'm just working late. My new job....”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Chad, waving a hand. “New job, responsibility, chance to be something more, yadda yadda yadda. I think your new boss is just a slavedriver.” He perked up. “Hey, is it him you're fucking?”

“No!” said Jared. “He's my _boss_. Besides, he only sleeps with dudes if he's drunk. Or high. Or, uh, on 'a higher state of consciousness'. Or a chick wants him to. Or...”

“Or he's their boss?” asked Chad.

Jared smacked his head. “I'm not sleeping with Misha,” he said firmly. “I'm not sleeping with anyone.”

“Then you're in love,” said Chad frankly.

Jared stared at him. “What the hell?” he asked.

“I know that look. Either you're getting dicked, or you're spending all your time thinking about soppy poems to write in your fiftieth anniversary card to some dude you'll probably never have the guts to talk to.”

Jared scowled. “I don't know what you mean,” he said.

Chad shrugged. “Whatever dude. You know I'm right.”

See, the thing was, JEN S3(n) was really pretty awesome. He was funny in a snarky way, and he seemed to know what to say – or print – when Jared was feeling down or over-whelmed, and somehow he always made Jared smile. But that just meant they were friends, right? No way Jared could be in love with a printer. That would be fucked up.

The next evening, he was sitting next to JEN S3(n), laughing about something stupid Tom had done, and he realised that not only was he draped over JEN S3(n) as if he was a pillow, arm flung over him and head cushioned on it, but that JEN S3(n) was gently rumbling beneath his head, humming even when he wasn't printing something. Most of his lights were lit a soft pinky colour, and one was slowly flashing in a pulsing rhythm.

He straightened up abruptly, leaning back against the wall instead. A couple of JEN S3(n)'s lights, including the flashing one, flicked out. Jared cleared his throat.

“So, uh,” he said, trying to cover the moment. “You never did tell me how the hell you ended up coming to life.”

JEN S3(n) was silent for a long moment, then he printed out, _I've always been alive. I just didn't used to be a printer._

Jared gaped. “What?” he asked. “You were a person?”

_My name's Jensen Ackles. I was a grad student, up until about a week before I came to this office._

“What happened?”

 _It'll sound pretty weird,_ printed JEN S3(n)...Jensen

“Dude, I'm taking to a printer. I have been for weeks,” Jared pointed out. “At this point, I'm pretty much open to anything.”

Jensen was silent for a long moment, and a couple of his lights turned red. Then he printed out a long page full of text.

_There was a witch. Or, I assume she was a witch. She worked in this printshop I used to get my assignments printed at, and she was always hitting on me. I told her I wasn't interested, but it didn't seem to go in to her head. Then she got a bit creepy – started turning up at the bar I worked up, and Chris, my roommate, said he saw her outside our apartment building._

_I went over to the printshop and tried to tell her that she needed to leave me alone, but she just kept talking about how I had it all wrong and we were made for each other, and all that creepy-ass shit. So I, uh, kinda snapped, and told her I was gay and I'd never be interested in her because she didn't have a cock._

_And then she just...it was like she was a Disney witch, seriously, dude. I'm pretty sure her eyes went red. She yelled that I wasn't ever going to get cock, not even my own, then there was a blinding flash and when I woke up...I was a printer._

Jared read it all through twice, very aware of Jensen's lights flashing next to him. For some reason, it took him a while to get past 'he's gay!' and concentrate on the cursed-by-a-witch part. “Are you shitting me?” he asked eventually.

 _Yes, Jared, the sentient printer is kidding with you,_ responded Jensen.

Jared scowled at him. “Smartass,” he muttered. He looked back at the page with Jensen's story on it. “So, wait...what happened to your body? Did that just disappear? Or is it out there somewhere? Do your family and friends have any idea where you are?”

 _I have no idea,_ printed Jensen. _I've been in here._

Jared blinked. “Your family have no idea where you are?” he repeated.

 _Probably not,_ printed Jensen.

Jared frowned. “I'll find them,” he said. “Jensen Ackles, right? I'll see what I can find out.”

 

****

 

Finding out information about Jensen Ackles was surprisingly easy. Jared typed the name into Google and immediately the county news site flashed up.

 _LOCAL STUDENT FOUND COLLAPSED,_ read the headline. Jared scanned the article quickly.

“You were in an alley off Washington Avenue,” he told Jensen later. “Completely unconscious. They took you to hospital, but you didn't wake up. You're still in a coma, as far as I can tell.”

 _Because I'm here,_ Jensen pointed out. _Washington Avenue – that's where the print shop was. She must have just dumped me there._

Jared nodded. “You're at St. Mary's hospital,” he said. “You want me to go there?”

Jensen was silent for a long time. _Yes,_ he printed eventually. _My family will probably be there. Tell them you're from one of my classes._

Jared hesitated. “I could explain where you are,” he said.

 _They'll never believe you,_ Jensen printed. _Just...check on how I am._

There was a long pause, then another sheet printed out. _And how they're doing._

 

****

 

Jensen's body was in a side room on the third floor of the hospital. Jared paused outside it, suddenly horribly nervous. What if Jensen was ugly or fat or old or something? There hadn't been a photo in the paper – he could look like anything. He took a deep breath. It didn't matter – it wouldn't matter. It was Jensen, after all. And besides, they were only friends.

He pushed the door open and went inside, his eyes going instantly to the bed. Lying there, looking paler than anyone ever should and surrounded by wires and tubes, was the hottest guy Jared had ever seen. He actually had to blink a couple of times to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. Holy shit, no wonder the witch had stalked him.

“Can I help you?” someone asked, and he tore his eyes away to see he wasn't alone in the room with Jensen. There was an exhausted, sad-looking woman sitting by the bed, holding a book.

“You must be Jensen's mother,” said Jared. “I'm Jared Padalecki. I'm a friend of Jensen's.”

“Not that good a friend if you're only just visiting now,” pointed out Jensen's mother acerbically.

“I only just heard,” said Jared defensively. “I've, uh, been away.”

She sighed and glanced back down at Jensen's face before closing her book. “I'm sorry,” she said. “It's just been a hard few months.”

“It's okay,” said Jared, finally coming further into the room.

She half-shook her head, but didn't apologise again. “How did...do you know Jensen?” she asked.

“Uh,” said Jared. “We had a class together,” he lied.

He looked down at Jensen again, at the perfect lines of his face and the long dark lashes lying on his cheek. He wondered what colour his eyes were, what his voice sounded like, what his smile was like. He wanted to know everything about him. Huh, maybe Chad had been right after all, maybe he was in love.

“Did you want me to leave you alone?” Jensen's mother asked.

Jared shook his head. He could be alone with Jensen every evening, if he wanted. This was just a shell right now - a really pretty shell, but completely empty of life.

“What are the doctors saying?” he asked.

Jensen's mother pursed her lips and looked down. “Nothing good,” she admitted. “They don't think he'll ever wake up.” She paused, and swallowed painfully. “They think we should turn the machines off. Let him go.”

Jared was horrified. “You can't do that!” he exclaimed.

She glared at him. “If he's gone, there's no point in holding onto his body. And it's not your decision to make, any way.”

“Just...” said Jared, looking back at Jensen's face, “please don't do anything hasty? He might wake up yet.”

She shook her head, and Jared could hear tears in her voice. “It's been months. This isn't hasty. He's gone – they say he's probably brain dead. We're just...his sister's flying in on Saturday, then we're going to let him go.”

Jared gaped at her. He couldn't let that happen, but how could he stop them?

 

****

 

When he told Jensen, he was quiet for a very long time, all signs of life off except for one sickly yellow light.

 _Maybe it's for the best,_ he printed eventually.

Jared gaped at him. “You're kidding, right? How could that be best?!”

_I'm stuck like this now. I don't know how to fix it – there might not be a way. At least they get some closure if my body's dead._

“No,” said Jared firmly. “No, I won't let it happen.” He looked around the office, racking his brain for a solution. “There must be some way to break this.”

 _Any ideas, hotshot?_ printed Jensen. _Know much about curses, do you? Because I sure as hell don't._

Jared glared at him. “Quit being so damned defeatist,” he said. Jensen just whirred for a moment, then shut down his lights completely in an obvious dismissal.

 

****

He couldn't stand being at work the next day, watching Jensen placidly print out Tom's stupid documents as if there was nothing more to him. He told Misha he was feeling ill and left at lunch time. He spent the afternoon wandering the city streets and trying to think of a solution. How the hell did you break a witch's curse? All the fairytales he could remember seemed contradictory, and incredibly unhelpful.

He found himself on Washington Avenue and when he realised where he was, he started looking out for the printshop that Jensen had mentioned. It was tiny when he found it, with a discrete sign announcing 'Lehne Printing.' He pushed inside.

There was a man behind the counter and he looked up with what was probably meant to be a welcoming smile, but came across more as 'I want to eat your soul.' “Can I help you?” he asked.

“Uh,” said Jared, walking up to the counter. “I'm looking for the girl who works here.”

The man frowned. “No girls working here,” he said. “Just me and Aldis.”

“Maybe a few months ago?” tried Jared. “Slightly crazy?”

The man winced. “Katie,” he said. “What did she do? I'm not paying any damages.”

“You know where she is?” asked Jared excitedly. If anyone would know how to take off Jensen's curse, it would be the witch who cast it, right?

“Not a clue,” said the man. “She skipped out, disappeared without even taking her last pay check.”

Jared deflated. Figured it wouldn't be that easy. “You've no idea where she is?”

The man shook his head. “Sorry, son,” he replied. “I wish I could help you, but she's long gone.”

Jared left the shop feeling even more depressed than he had before. The witch was gone, Jensen's family were turning off his life support tomorrow, and Jensen was going to be stuck as a printer forever. The image of Jensen's pale face floated in front of his face. How would he ever find out what those full lips tasted like if Jensen stayed stuck as hardware?

He wiped the thought from his mind and reminded himself again that he and Jensen were just friends. And not likely to ever be anything else, at this rate.

 

****

 

He didn't sleep that night. He stayed awake, pacing the living room until Chad came out and swore at him at length.

“Just go stick your cock in this dude, before I crack and fuck your shit up,” he finished with.

Jared shook his head tiredly. “No way you could take me,” he said. “I'm, like, four foot taller than you, dude.”

“Whatever,” said Chad, waving an arm. “Just go to fucking bed already so I can sleep. Or go stand outside this dude's place and stare at his window like the crazy fucker you are, I don't care.”

Jared sank down onto the couch. “I wish I could,” he said.

“Jesus fuck,” muttered Chad. “You seriously need to jump this dude before all this emo behaviour drives me nuts. Now go the fuck to bed.”

Jared did, but he didn't sleep. As soon as the sun was up, he got up and went out for a jog, but his mind didn't settle. He gave up all pretence of being able to act like a normal person and went to the office, getting there just as the cleaners were opening up.

The office was deserted – no one was dedicated enough to come in on a Saturday – and Jared sat down next to Jensen. “Hey, dude,” he said.

Jensen buzzed and a couple more lights came on.

 _Hey, Jared,_ he printed, but it came out slower than usual and his whirr sounded tired.

“What the fuck we going to do, man?” Jared asked, wishing he sounded less defeated.

_Nothing. What can we do?_

Jared stared at the stark black words, hating how much more real they looked written down than if Jensen had been able to say them out loud. He didn't answer, and they stayed in silence for a few minutes, then another sheet printed out.

_I just wish there was some way I could be there. See my family – see me, come to that - one more time._

Jared blinked. “You can,” he said.

_What?_

“I'll take you there,” said Jared, getting up. He felt better just having something to do, even if it wasn't anything helpful. “And we never know,” he thought out loud. “Maybe just being close to your body will be enough to get you to go back into it.”

 _Unlikely,_ printed Jensen, but several more of his lights had come on.

“Whatever,” said Jared. “I'll take you there, you can see yourself, maybe it'll work itself out.”

Jensen was silent for a long moment. _Fine,_ he printed eventually. _Just don't drop me._

“As if I would,” scoffed Jared.

He unplugged Jensen, then wound his cable carefully around his main body. The printer was lighter than he'd have thought, easily carried under one arm, and no one tried to stop him as he left the building. Possibly on Monday he should mention to someone how easy it was to steal computer equipment from the office.

 

****

 

He did get a couple of funny looks as he carried Jensen into the hospital, but a couple of confident smiles and an attitude of 'I'm meant to be here' were all he needed to get up to the third floor. Jensen's family were all gathered outside his room, huddled together and looking grave. Jared felt his stomach clench – he hadn't realised how little time they had.

He glanced down at Jensen, silent and dark under his arm, then carefully put him in a nearby closet, on a pile of sheets, before heading over to the group.

Jensen's mother looked up at him as he came closer, but it took a moment for recognition to show in her eyes. “Jared, right?” she said, and the rest of the family turned to look at him. They weren't unfriendly, but Jared still felt like an outsider, intruding on what should be a private affair.

“Hello, Mrs Ackles,” he said.

She shook her head without responding to the greeting. “This isn't a good moment.”

“You're going to turn the machines off, right?” he said, a cold feeling sinking into his stomach. “There won't be any more moments at all after that.”

She pursed her lips, glancing at Jensen's room door. “This is really a time for close family only,” she said.

Jared felt desperation claw at him. This was his last chance. “Please,” he said. “Can I just have a last moment alone with him?” She didn't look convinced, and Jared thought hard for something that would get him into the room. “Look, the other day,” he said. “I wasn't exactly truthful.”

Her face hardened. “You weren't?”

“I'm...Jensen and I, we were more than friends,” Jared lied. “I didn't want to upset you before, but it seems a little late for that. We were, uh, really close before I went away, and I was hoping to get that back when I returned.” He paused and swallowed. “When I heard he was here...” he added, then let his voice trail off. He wasn't sure where this was all coming from – desperation, probably, but he could tell from the look in her eyes that it was working.

She sighed. “I suppose it's only right you get a moment,” she said eventually. The man Jared had taken to be Jensen's father made an aggravated noise in his throat and she shot him a sharp look. “We're not in any hurry to do this,” she added.

Jared nodded, relief flooding through him. “Thank you,” he said with feeling.

“We'll go have a coffee,” she announced. “We'll be back in fifteen minutes.”

As soon as Jensen's family were all gone, Jared checked up and down the corridor then rescued Jensen from the closet. He took him into the hospital room and plugged him in at the wall, then set him down on the bed, next to his body, before cautiously pressed the 'on' button.

Jensen's lights lit up, then dimmed immediately. He didn't print anything out, and Jared worried for a moment that he'd left all the paper back at the office.

“Jensen?” he asked. “You okay?”

A page slid out. _I look strange from this angle._

“You look hot,” said Jared without really thinking about it, then winced.

 _Oh, yes, the coma patient look,_ printed Jensen. _All the boys love a barely-alive corpse._

Jared shook his head. “Dude, you must know you're ridiculously good looking. Even like this.”

 _You have the weirdest way of hitting on people,_ printed Jensen, and then abruptly changed the subject. _My family?_

“They went for coffee,” said Jared. “I can leave you here, in the corner so they won't notice, and you can see them when they get back.” He hesitated. “Unless you can...you know, get back inside, somehow.”

 _I don't know how. I'm just as trapped here as you are in that body. I don't know how to get free of it,_ printed Jensen, and then several of his lights turned on an angry red. _I'm going to die. I'm going to watch myself die like this, and be a printer forever. The next ten years printing out Tom's crap. Oh, god, Jared, I can't stand it._

“Hey,” said Jared fiercely. “It's okay. I'll be there – whatever happens, you know I'll be there for you.”

 _You can't say that,_ printed Jensen. _I'm nothing like this – what can a printer do? I'll have to watch you live your life, get older, all that crap. Find someone and be blissfully happy with them._ The rest of his lights came on, blazing away. _I don't want to exist like that, Jared. You should turn me off and not turn me on again, after this. Let me go offline._

“No,” hissed Jared. “Come on, man, I can't do that!” He leaned down, hands resting on the smooth top of Jensen's case. “I won't do it. You mean too much to me.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jensen's sleek surface.

There was a faint whoosh from the printer, and his lights all turned green. Jared felt something warm and throbbing press against his lips, and he instinctively opened his mouth. It passed between his lips, and the printer abruptly stopped whirring. He straightened up, staggering back, to see that all the lights had gone out. Something was still in his mouth, something tingly and almost barely-there, like warm candy floss.

What the hell? Was Jensen's soul in his mouth? Had he kissed Jensen free? That was just completely ridiculous, like the most lame fairytale. And what the hell did he do now? He glanced at Jensen's body, frozen like sleeping beauty in the bed. He stepped forward with shaky feet and touched his hand to Jensen's hair, and the thing in his mouth throbbed slightly. He bent down slowly, not quite sure he was doing this, and kissed Jensen.

The warmth in his mouth seemed to expand, then slipped out, streaming from Jared's mouth to Jensen's. Jensen's lips, which had felt so cold and unresponsive, suddenly came to life beneath his, opening to Jared and deepening the kiss.

Jared pulled back in surprise to see the most beautiful green eyes staring back at him.

“Dude,” he breathed, not quite believing that that had just happened. “Holy shit!”

Jensen blinked at him. “Hey,” he croaked in a hoarse voice. It was the best thing Jared had ever heard.

 

****

 

Jensen's mother cried when she came in to find Jensen awake. Jared grinned at her then slipped out, leaving the family to their reunion. He sat outside in the hall while nurses and doctors all converged on Jensen's room, not quite sure what he should be doing. He'd just kissed a guy back to life – or at least, back to being human. The whole thing was insane.

After about twenty minutes, the door opened again, and Jensen's mother came out. “Oh, I was hoping you hadn't gone,” she said.

Jared stood up. “Mrs Ackles,” he started, but she didn't let him finish. Instead, she gave him a massive hug, catching him by surprise.

“Thank you for giving me my baby back,” she said in a choked voice.

“Um,” said Jared. “I really didn't...”

“Oh, hush,” she said, stepping back, and wiping at her eyes. “He was gone, then you spend ten minutes with him, and he's back. I don't believe in coincidences.”

Jared just shrugged awkwardly. “Is he okay?” he asked.

“The doctors say he's completely fine,” she said. “Just weak from being in bed so long.”

Jared smiled at her. “Great,” he said, happily.

“One thing,” she added. “Do you have any idea where the printer on his bed came from?”

Jared tried to look innocent. “No idea,” he said. “Maybe you should keep it, though. Jensen could use one, so he doesn't have to go to the printshop.”

Her eyes narrowed, but before she could say anything, the door of Jensen's room opened, and the rest of the family started to come out, clearly chased out by the medical staff.

“I should go,” he said. He could come see Jensen tomorrow.

“Not yet,” said Jensen's father. “He wants to see you – won't rest until he does.” Jared tried not to grin too widely, and went into the room.

Jensen still looked pale but he smiled when he saw Jared. “Jared,” he said happily.

Jared stepped forward and rested his hand awkwardly on Jensen's wrist. “Hey,” he said. “It's really good to see you like this.”

“It's good to be like this,” said Jensen, still sounding hoarse. “Thank you, Jared.” He moved his hand until he was holding Jared's hand, fingers clasped around his palm.

“No problem,” said Jared. He couldn't resist squeezing Jensen's hand gently. “Although, not quite sure how I'm going to print out my report on Monday.”

Jensen laughed breathlessly. “Maybe I can take you out for a drink when I get out of here, make it up to you.”

Jared felt his grin grow wider. “I'd love that,” he said. Jensen smiled back, the light in his eyes brighter than any of his printer lights had ever been. He didn't say anything else, clearly exhausted, but Jared stayed, holding his hand, until his eyes slid shut and he fell asleep.

 


End file.
